Your social lubricant

What would we do without social lubricants? Ah, those magical things that enable first dates and awkward moments to go more smoothly, swiftly and more bearable.

"Any legal substance used to improve or enhance the mood of your date," says the Urban Dictionary of the ultimate social lubricant. "Something that gets your date to open up.. be it her/his mouth; for conversation or his/her legs for fornication. A situational substance that removes the friction from the dating process."

And it seems there are a bevy of other types of lubricants to add into the mix ...

Alcohol

"I don't trust a date who doesn't drink," mused a male colleague of mine while we were out the other night.
"I don't either," observed his mate. And it seems many share their sentiment. Refuse a glass of vino at the after-work Friday drinks or spend a week-long holiday in Byron Bay without overdosing on the lychee mojitos and you might find yourself clamming up on an awkward first date.

No wonder that these days, instead of singletons suggesting a coffee date, I often hear them expressing that when it comes to a first date, the most important aspect is location, location, location. And that location needs to serve alcohol.

Why? It boosts confidence, makes conversations run smoother and makes that awkward first kiss all the less awkward ...

So, you've got a baby?

Then there's another, albeit more innocent social lubricant: men with babies.

The other night at a swanky event, I got speaking to a male photographer. After the usual formalities of meeting, greeting and enquiring politely about where we each worked, I began formulating my escape-route-excuse so I could skip off to grab another glass of champagne. That was until he brought up something that is enough to make any woman squeal with delight: the recent birth of his baby daughter.

"She is sooo adorable," he crooned, making my heart melt in the process. Suddenly I was firing away a million questions, probing about her sleeping habits, her first words, what she eats, what she wears and so on. The photographer, basking in the glory of being a young, cool, hip dad (who was now surrounded by a gaggle of goggle-eyed women), relayed all the details with glee.

When the women had left, the photographer confided to me his latest party trick: "When I mention my baby to women, it's like their whole demeanour towards me does a u-turn," he said. "It suddenly makes them view me as a nice guy rather than some sleazy photographer."

Thinking about his words, I had to agree. Babies, like pets, have a way of making any woman fall weak at the knees and go ga-ga for the gent who is holding one, talking about one, or in the vicinity of one (nieces and nephews count too). Oh yes, dads are in hot demand.

Beer and babies don't mix

The trouble however, is when hot dads decide to use the birth of their recent bub as a pick-up line when their other half isn't around.

One such tale is recounted by my serial party-boy mate Alan, who after getting a "leave pass" from his spouse to go on a quick weekend getaway to Queensland, (for work purposes of course), decides to tear up the town.

"I just felt I needed to leave behind all the nappies and the screaming and the vomit. It had been a couple of years since I'd had a good boys' night out and I just needed to let my hair down."

As the night progressed, martinis were knocked back like water and he had managed to attract a bevy of gorgeous gals eager to hear his baby tales. "As soon as I brought out the baby stories, the women were whipped into a frenzy. It was brilliant! It was like the best pick-up line ever."

Unfortunately, in his drunken state, he claims he couldn't resist the allure of one such femme, and was caught by his mates making out with a statuesque brunette ... ouch.

The closing time effect

While I am strongly against cheating of any kind, psychologists say that Alan could be forgiven due to something dubbed the "closing time effect". In other words, the people you're around get more attractive as the night wears on, according to Psychology Today magazine.

It seems ever since the singer Mickey Gilley crooned in his 1975 hit song that "the girls get prettier at closing time," scientists, experts and nightclub patrons alike have been attempting to prove the phenomenon.

Washington University psychologist Scott Madey is one such bloke, who after surveying nightclubbers discovered that at 10pm, found that singletons judged the opposite sex with an average of 2.3 (on a scale of one to five), while at closing time, the average zoomed upwards to a staggering 3.8 average.

Let's just hope they still remain a 3.8 the morning after ...

Is there truth to the closing time affect? Tell us your tales of liquid courage. And share your favourite social lubricant